We've been devastated by two deaths in our school community in the past fortnight. Monbulk Secondary College is a small school, very community based and these tragedies hit teachers, students and parents hard.
It's difficult to centre after tragedies. I find death and it's aftermath is a pervasieve undercurrent in my thoughts and conversations and I know I'm not alone. One of the deaths directly concerns my family and I find myself engulfed in grief - not only for the loss of a fine, strong woman but for her kids who have been catupulted into adulthood and face decisions no one would wish on yong people, no matter how mature and together they are.
It's a sad, sad time.
However, in the middle of the sadness some good things happen. I've watched my daughter move with grace and love though this grieving time, shouldering a big responsibility. I've watched my son process the witnessing and assisting at the scene of a traumatic tragedy with maturity and new understanding. My heart breaks when I think of C's boys but I also know they're surrounded by loving friends and family and if anyone can get through this, they will. But it's overwhelmingly sad that they have to.
Too much sadness.
I needed to get out of my head for a while.So the Accountant and I went into the NGV today and wandered around the Art Deco exhibition. I'll definitely go again with the girlchild - it's a huge exhibition and we simply didn't have time to absorb it all. Some fabulous over-the-top Cartier jewellery - the Tuttifrutti bracelet was extraordinary, not to mention the scarab brooch. A wonderful beaded Patou dress with a trompe d'oiel effect, a beautiful Vionnet with a rose motif, a gorgeous Lalique vase engraved with cranes and a Cartier clock the Accountant fell in love with. It was good to be distracted by beauty for a couple of hours.
Apart from that I find cooking, knitting and spinning are practical consolations. The girlchild and I had lunch out a couple of times last week and the boyman came into work with me so we rode the train together and a stranger joined in our conversation about Hunter S Thompson.
It was also an unexpected pleasure to have the Accountant's eldest pop in - all togged up in bike riding gear. So we took her to lunch.
I guess this is a taste of the future - being visited, keeping in touch via texts and phone calls. These tall children coming back briefly from the world. I realise the Accountant and I will have to make our own life together - well, we have, of course. But in the not too distant future our life will intersect with these other lives, rather than being held in the centre of them. It's kind of scary and wonderful and awe-inspiring and I'm not ready yet.